Subscribe to our mailing list

Get the news right in your inbox!

My 5 criteria for determining what to give a fuck about

April 28, 2019 No Comments

My 5 criteria for determining what to give a fuck about

April 28, 2019 No Comments

warning: if excessive use of the word fuck offends you GTFOH…it’s in the title, you HAD to know it was showing up with all its fucking clones in this blog post

I tend to think I’m pretty good at appropriately allocating the amount of fucks I give in life…of course, I don’t always get it right but for the most part, I think I do a decent job.

Fucks aren’t as plentiful as people would have you believe, considering they dole them out all willy nilly over some of the most insane and unworthy situations and topics. You can only give so many fucks before it starts to impact your mental and even physical health. Misappropriation of fucks is a leading cause of heart attacks, high blood pressure, stress, and, to a lesser extent, pettiness. I promise, there are studies that prove this.

I figured, as a public service, I could share my criteria for deciding what to give a fuck about. Just out here trying to do some good.

Criteria #1: Does it impact me, my child, or the people I love? No? Then I won’t be allocating fucks to that.

One of my favorite lines from a Jay-Z song is “what you eat don’t make me shit”. If what you are doing, who you’re doing it with, what you think, thought, say does not have an impact on me, why the fuck should I care? I just can’t muster up the fucks necessary if it isn’t directly affecting me or mine.

Criteria #2: Will my giving a fuck be helpful for you? If not, I’m gonna have to RSVP “Fuck no”.

So there are times when caring about things that don’t impact me will actually still benefit the other party. In some cases, I may have some wisdom or advice to impart. A kind or encouraging word. Or I could be the voice of reason or caution. I may be able to play devil’s advocate and help someone think about something in a different way.

Here is where you have to be careful though. Sometimes, our egos want to interject what we think we know or our opinions just to be heard. We have to be careful and ask ourselves honestly “is what I’m sharing or doing actually helpful to the other party?” If not – if you’re going to embarrass someone, make them feel stupid or you’re just “setting someone straight” – it’s not worth the fucks, keep it moving. Your fucks have other places to be.

In Tulum, Mexico being stingy with my fucks

Criteria #3: Will giving a fuck change the outcome? No? Cool, fucks redeposited to my savings account.

We all know the term “don’t cry over spilled milk”. What that phrase really means is, giving a fuck won’t put the milk back in the carton or make it drinkable. Its already soaked up the lint and foot dust on the floor, it’s over and done. Pull yourself together and find something you can control to give a fuck about…like going to buy more milk.

Criteria #4: Will I, in giving a fuck, be agreeing to the plausibility of additional fucks being required at a later date?

If yes, then my answer depends:

3a) if I will have the ability to opt out the moment that criteria 1 or 2 above are not met, then sure, I can expend some fucks…just saying, if I give a fuck and then fall into hemorrhaging fucks, I’m in a nightmare and I want out!

3b) however, if giving a fuck obligates me to continue to expend fucks in contrast to the criteria listed above OR at an exponential rate, then nope…fucks denied! You ever find yourself giving a fuck about something and then it gets worse and worse and now you damn near need a loan from the bank of fucks to cover the amount required because you find yourself coming up short? Yah, I don’t wanna be in fucking debt. Not doing it.

Criteria #5: What is my ROF? If my Return On Fucks is low, issa no.

I majored in Finance and my first job out of grad school was to build financial models to calculate the value of a business. Companies wanted to know if they purchase those businesses, what would be their return on investment, or ROI. Basically, will they get back more than or at least what they put in. I feel similarly about my precious fucks. What will be the return? In other words, is it even worth it to give a fuck? If so, by all means, dig deep and give of your fucks generously. But if not, cut your losses and hold on to your fucks for a rainy day when you need them.

One of the first books I read in 2018 was The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson. It’s yet early in the year, it was one of my favorite reads of the year.

There are two types of people who don’t give a fuck:

There are those who don’t out of a sense of superiority or being petty this book, nor this post, is about that. I’m not talking about thinking you’re better than others so you don’t have to care about their opinions. I’m also not talking about this sense of lack of accountability where you “answer to no one” about your actions no matter how fucked up they are. Those people probably need to give way more fucks.

There are those who don’t out of an understanding that there just isn’t much in this life that’s so serious you NEED to give a fuck. These people realize that it actually matters what you choose to give a fuck about. This book and this post is about being these people.

If you decide to buy the book by clicking the this link, I’ll get a few pennies for it (literally, I’ll get like .87) and it won’t cost you anything extra. You’d be doing some good at no extra cost. At least give a fuck about that. 😉

libryia

All posts

No Comments

Leave a Reply

Instagram

  • "I love you all of the time, I like you most of the time" - the real mantra of moms everywhere 🤣 🤷🏾‍♀️
.
.
📸 : @theqovphotos
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

#mommiehood #motherhood #mommingateen #wanderingmom
  • It's another Work From Anywhere Wednesday! **body rolls**
.
I'm chatting with you from my home office today about positions that are not 100% remote.

They do exist and A LOT of people don't even bother looking at them because they are so focused on finding a fully remote job.

I want to encourage you to apply for these jobs even if they aren't fully remote.

Why?

Well, for one you need to get into the habit of applying for jobs and going through the hiring process. I believe in achievement motivation. Once you start applying for the jobs you "kinda" want, it will be that much easier to apply for the ones you really want.

Secondly, if you get the job, you will now have remote experience and that will make you more appealing to the companies that are hiring a 100% remote workforce.

But the biggest reason I want you to go for it is because partial remote is more remote than you are now!

So get out there and apply.

If you need help finding viable remote jobs, I created a guide with my FAVORITE places to find remote work. Just click the link in my bio and grab your free copy.

Ok, I got work to do! Have a great day!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#workfromanywhere #workremotely #remotejobs #wfhjobs #wfh #workfromhome #workingmom #workingmommy #quitcommuting #quityourcommute #WFAWednesday #wfa
  • Where there are two or more women gathered together, there is bound to be drama, right?

WRONG!

During my girls trip to Turks and Caicos, several men made mention of the fact that we seemed to be so cool with each other and had no drama during our trip. They seemed shocked and impressed.

Admittedly, we took this as a compliment. We proudly touted that "WE don't do drama!" as if we're special.

I thought about this on my way home and felt I had to say out loud that I think this stereotype should DIE!

We are in the Era of The Sistafriend. Women are supporting one another, cheering one another on, taking trips together, starting businesses together, and just having a damn good time together.

I wrote a blog post about why I just don't believe this myth is accurate and why it should be killed.

Click the link in my bio to check it out!

Show me some girl love on this post and tag your girlfriends that you rock with on the daily!
.
📸: @specislegend in Turks and Caicos .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#girlpower #womensempowerment #blackgirlmagic #girlslovetravel #blackgirlstraveltoo #blacktravelslay #blacktravelgram #nomadnesstribe #travelgram blacktravelfeed
  • Yooo! It's Work From Anywhere Wednesday!

Today, I want to challenge you all to expand your remote work opportunities to freelancing.

Freelancing is a great way to work remotely!

You would be surprised to know that there are MANY companies, both big and small that are willing to pay you for the expertise and skills you have.

During my first monthly "Lib Search For My Remote Job" session last night, I spoke to two women about freelancing.

One wanted to be a recruiter. This is a REALLY great field for freelancing but you have to build your network.

The other wanted to help non-profits with fundraising. There are not usually a ton of remote opportunities with non-profits so I suggested that she build out a suite of services from building strategic plans to executing those plans and approach some non-profits who are currently hiring for similar roles and offer to consult with them.

Freelancing is definitely a great way to broaden the range of opportunities for you to go remote

There are a few more spaces in the session tonight and Saturday. Sign up before they run out. Just click the link in my bio and go to "Lib, Search For My Remote Job"

See ya in there!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#WFAWEDNESDAY #workingmom #workfromanywhere #workfromhome #remotework #quitcommuting #quityourcommute #remotejobs #workfromhomejobs #wfhjobs #wfh
  • Ever give a woman a compliment and the first thing she does is explain why you shouldn't have?

How many times have you done this yourself?

It's such an interesting and automated response and it seems to be something women do almost exclusively.

I imagine if it were men, one man might say **turns on deep voice** "hey man, I like that beard look bro, its dope" and the man would never respond with "for real man? It's so dry and I need a line up!". No, he would say "thanks man, 'preciate that"

Why do we have so much trouble graciously receiving compliments?

Are we trying to portray modesty?

Do we think it makes us seem conceited?

Or do we think we don't deserve the compliment

This happened on two occasions over the weekend.

I told one woman that her lashes looked great and she immediately launched a smear campaign about how they were old and needed to be redone. I placed my hand on her shoulder to stop her and said "oooh girl, just say thank you" 🤣
.
Another woman I was chatting with had such beautiful skin and I told her so. She looked at me concerned like she thought I might be losing my eyesight and said "oh no, I'm so mad at my skin, I'm breaking out and..." I cut her off and said "I think your skin is beautiful, just say thank you" 🤣
.
I absolutely do this too. Most of us do. I don't know why we do it, but I would love for us to stop.

We do not owe modesty to the world. We do owe it to ourselves to be bold in our acceptance of our beauty, our strength, our power.

There is a big difference between being conceited and being confident and accepting compliments does not tip the scales towards conceit. It does, however, exhibit graciousness.

We don't get to decide whether or not we deserve the compliment. The person giving it to us already declared it. Its ours. They weren't asking our permission or asking us to sign off on it. They chose to compliment us because we were deserving. We should accept that. We deserve it.

Take the compliment, sis. Just say "thank you".
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#thingsillteachmydaughter #mondaymotivation #instainspiration #selfdevelopment #womensempowerment #selfimprovement #girlpower
  • Crazy enough, our weekend trip to Memphis was the first "real"  trip Zian and I have taken together since Christmas when we went to Colombia 😯😯
.
She and I have made road trips back to my hometown, we went to Chicago to drop her at summer camp, and we went to Detroit to say goodbye to our Jadyn, but this is the first trip of the year where we got to kick it together.

Yesterday, I moderated a panel for @audacityfest discussing traveling with children alongside @tanaibenardturner, @themomtrotter, @thetravelingchild, and @@gabbok17. One of the things we talked about was how much quality bonding time we get when we travel with our kids.

I love stepping outside of our regular routine of being mom and daughter and just being people exploring a town, getting to know who my daughter is as a person, and letting her learn who I am as Libryia, not as "mom".
.
Although our time in Memphis was brief, I truly enjoyed sharing history with my kiddo at the National Civil Rights Museum, chatting and strolling down Main St., grooving to music at the #BringYourSoul block party,  two-stepping to the jams played by @bigsueshouse at brunch, and mural hunting for dope shots for da gram (thanks @ilovememphisblog for the murals list!)
.
It's true, she and I can bond at home. But there is something so special about discovering a new place and ourselves.

Memphis, thank you for having us! We can't wait to come back and explore more of what you have to offer!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#ilovememphisblog #ilovememphis #memphistravel #travelblogger #influencer #travelinfluencer #AudacityFest #visitmemphis #wanderingmom #wanderingmoms #wanderwoman #blackkidstravel #blackgirlstraveltoo

Follow Me!

Latest Posts

Subscribe to our mailing list

Get the news right in your inbox!

Categories

×