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My 2 most embarrassing financial flaws

June 9, 2019 1 Comment

My 2 most embarrassing financial flaws

June 9, 2019 1 Comment

Have you ever read Confessions of a Shopaholic? I’m not a shopaholic, at least not in the typical sense of the word – I don’t own a lot of clothes, shoes, or things. But the main character and I have something big in common – we know a lot about finance, even worked in the financial field and are pretty bad at managing our own finances. We can give people GREAT advice about it, in fact, I’m the one my closest friends come to for sage financial advice. But do I follow my own advice?

Fiscal responsibility is something I have struggled with ever since my mom was giving me allowance sporadically when I was a teenager. She would hand it to me and I’d run straight to the candy lady’s house for frozen cups, chips, and those big lemonheads without a single thought of saving any of it for future desires…which is crazy since, like I said, allowance was hella sporadic.

I’ve gotten better over the years, but I’m still that girl. Being fiscally responsible is not something that comes naturally to me. It’s something I have to actively work on and something I often fail at.

I have actually accomplished some really awesome financial goals in my life – I bought a house on my 31st birthday, I currently have a significant amount of equity in that house, I have very little credit card debt (by very little, I mean about $5,000) and from August 2017 to April 2018, I paid off $38,000 in business debt. You read that right, I paid off almost $40,000 in debt in 9 months. CRAZY right?

While I’ve accomplished some pretty great financial goals, I want to share some of the things I constantly struggle with when it comes to my finances.

I spend money indulgently and RECKLESSLY

There is something in me that feels like “it’s my money, I should get to spend it how I want” and says “life is about having fun, it’s not like you can take the money with you” and so I end up shrugging my shoulders, saying YOLO and swiping my debit card like it’s attached to Jeff Bezzo’s bank account.

But this goes deeper than just spending money frivolously, the bigger problem is spending money impulsively. Usually when it happens, it’s in the moment. I’m not giving it any real thought, I’m not considering the other things I can’t pay for if I buy this thing. I’m only thinking about this thing I want right now that’s in front of me.

I have a bad habit of looking at my bank account and saying “ooh there’s money in there” and then, of course, spending it. I remember telling one of my close friends that I “act like my account needs to be at zero to make room for more money to come into it”. I’m sure I’m not the only person that has or had a habit of spending all of their money and finding themselves barely making it to the next payday.

I donate money to the bank

I’m gonna get REAL transparent with ya’ll. In 2013 and 2014, I spent and average of $2,200 in overdraft fees (per year). It’s embarrassing. I struggled with whether or not I would share that, but like I said, we’re being transparent here.

I know a lot of us who have done this. We go to the gas station, knowing we only have $15 left in our account, we swipe the card and pray it goes through, it does and we rejoice and commence to filling our tank up with gas, which runs $36.74 and happily head on to our destination feeling lucky we got approved not even realizing that it just cost us an extra $35 in overdraft fees to do that.

Or, you check your account and see that you have a little money left so you go ahead and spring for a quick fast food meal, forgetting that you have a bill hitting the next day which is now going to put you in overdraft and cost you an extra $35.

Now make things like this a regular habit and you’ve spent $2,200 in overdraft fees without even realizing how fast it all adds up. That’s a $2,200 donation to the bank. Money I could have used to pay off my credit card or put into a 529 plan for my daughter. I’m getting angry about it all over again.

Although these are some embarrassing facts that one usually keeps to themselves or a select few, it honestly felt good to share this with you. If for no other reason than to say it out loud so I can fix it. My hope is also that if you have these flaws, you know you’re not the only one. You can stop beating yourself up about them and, instead, do something to change them.

Where I’m getting help: The YNAB app

You Need A Budget has been an AWESOME tool for helping curtail my spontaneous spending and getting me to focus where my money goes.

With the YNAB method, every dollar has a job. As soon as money comes in, you assign it to a category, even if that category is DON’T TOUCH THIS MONEY, lol.

Seriously though, this app has been a complete mindset shift for me from forecasting (which is technically what traditional budgeting is) to actually budgeting the money I have on hand and being honest about the fact that if I spend $20 on eating out, that’s $20 I can’t spend on getting my nails/hair done or $20 that won’t go towards saving up for the Away carry-on bag I’ve had my eye on.

I no longer look at my bank account to see if I have money to spend. I check the YNAB app to see if I have money left that I budgeted to spend in a particular category and if I don’t, no biggie, I can decide if I want to spend less on another category to make up for it. For example, let’s say I have a Personal Grooming category (nails and eyebrows need to be accounted for in the budget, am I right?) and a Clothing category. Say I’m walking around Zara and see a really cute dress that I just feel like I need to have. The dress is $75 but looking at my YNAB app, I only have $50 remaining in my Clothing budget. I scroll down and see I have $50 remaining in my Personal Grooming budget. I decide I can do my nails at home, so I’ll move the $25 over to Clothing and boom, I can buy this dress, no problem! I’m safe from overdraft fees because the only money I can budget is money I already have.

It truly is a great way to budget.

If you’re like me and have some pretty crappy financial habits, I do encourage you to do something about them. Try out YNAB for free for 35 days by signing up here –> SIGN UP FOR YNAB

I will warn you, the app is a lot of work. I personally need a lot of work to become more fiscally fit. It’s also a mindset shift from the way we know to budget. I also needed a mindset shift to reach my financial goals.

Here’s to conquering our financial flaws!!

Please note, the links in this blog post are affiliate links. That means, should you choose to sign up, I get a small bonus for referring you. It does not cost you anything extra, it’s just their way of saying “thank you for sharing the good news”. Also, I assure you, I would not share it if I didn’t love it myself. I hope you love it too!

libryia

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1 Comment

  • Taryn June 13, 2019 at 2:06 am

    Talk about getting raw! I swear I thought you were speaking directly to me. Iā€™m going take a look at this app you speak of. I could use accountability in my finances. Thank you for sharing and being real about it!

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    • "I love you all of the time, I like you most of the time" - the real mantra of moms everywhere šŸ¤£ šŸ¤·šŸ¾ā€ā™€ļø
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šŸ“ø : @theqovphotos
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#mommiehood #motherhood #mommingateen #wanderingmom
    • It's another Work From Anywhere Wednesday! **body rolls**
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I'm chatting with you from my home office today about positions that are not 100% remote.

They do exist and A LOT of people don't even bother looking at them because they are so focused on finding a fully remote job.

I want to encourage you to apply for these jobs even if they aren't fully remote.

Why?

Well, for one you need to get into the habit of applying for jobs and going through the hiring process. I believe in achievement motivation. Once you start applying for the jobs you "kinda" want, it will be that much easier to apply for the ones you really want.

Secondly, if you get the job, you will now have remote experience and that will make you more appealing to the companies that are hiring a 100% remote workforce.

But the biggest reason I want you to go for it is because partial remote is more remote than you are now!

So get out there and apply.

If you need help finding viable remote jobs, I created a guide with my FAVORITE places to find remote work. Just click the link in my bio and grab your free copy.

Ok, I got work to do! Have a great day!
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#workfromanywhere #workremotely #remotejobs #wfhjobs #wfh #workfromhome #workingmom #workingmommy #quitcommuting #quityourcommute #WFAWednesday #wfa
    • Where there are two or more women gathered together, there is bound to be drama, right?

WRONG!

During my girls trip to Turks and Caicos, several men made mention of the fact that we seemed to be so cool with each other and had no drama during our trip. They seemed shocked and impressed.

Admittedly, we took this as a compliment. We proudly touted that "WE don't do drama!" as if we're special.

I thought about this on my way home and felt I had to say out loud that I think this stereotype should DIE!

We are in the Era of The Sistafriend. Women are supporting one another, cheering one another on, taking trips together, starting businesses together, and just having a damn good time together.

I wrote a blog post about why I just don't believe this myth is accurate and why it should be killed.

Click the link in my bio to check it out!

Show me some girl love on this post and tag your girlfriends that you rock with on the daily!
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šŸ“ø: @specislegend in Turks and Caicos .
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#girlpower #womensempowerment #blackgirlmagic #girlslovetravel #blackgirlstraveltoo #blacktravelslay #blacktravelgram #nomadnesstribe #travelgram blacktravelfeed
    • Yooo! It's Work From Anywhere Wednesday!

Today, I want to challenge you all to expand your remote work opportunities to freelancing.

Freelancing is a great way to work remotely!

You would be surprised to know that there are MANY companies, both big and small that are willing to pay you for the expertise and skills you have.

During my first monthly "Lib Search For My Remote Job" session last night, I spoke to two women about freelancing.

One wanted to be a recruiter. This is a REALLY great field for freelancing but you have to build your network.

The other wanted to help non-profits with fundraising. There are not usually a ton of remote opportunities with non-profits so I suggested that she build out a suite of services from building strategic plans to executing those plans and approach some non-profits who are currently hiring for similar roles and offer to consult with them.

Freelancing is definitely a great way to broaden the range of opportunities for you to go remote

There are a few more spaces in the session tonight and Saturday. Sign up before they run out. Just click the link in my bio and go to "Lib, Search For My Remote Job"

See ya in there!
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#WFAWEDNESDAY #workingmom #workfromanywhere #workfromhome #remotework #quitcommuting #quityourcommute #remotejobs #workfromhomejobs #wfhjobs #wfh
    • Ever give a woman a compliment and the first thing she does is explain why you shouldn't have?

How many times have you done this yourself?

It's such an interesting and automated response and it seems to be something women do almost exclusively.

I imagine if it were men, one man might say **turns on deep voice** "hey man, I like that beard look bro, its dope" and the man would never respond with "for real man? It's so dry and I need a line up!". No, he would say "thanks man, 'preciate that"

Why do we have so much trouble graciously receiving compliments?

Are we trying to portray modesty?

Do we think it makes us seem conceited?

Or do we think we don't deserve the compliment

This happened on two occasions over the weekend.

I told one woman that her lashes looked great and she immediately launched a smear campaign about how they were old and needed to be redone. I placed my hand on her shoulder to stop her and said "oooh girl, just say thank you" šŸ¤£
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Another woman I was chatting with had such beautiful skin and I told her so. She looked at me concerned like she thought I might be losing my eyesight and said "oh no, I'm so mad at my skin, I'm breaking out and..." I cut her off and said "I think your skin is beautiful, just say thank you" šŸ¤£
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I absolutely do this too. Most of us do. I don't know why we do it, but I would love for us to stop.

We do not owe modesty to the world. We do owe it to ourselves to be bold in our acceptance of our beauty, our strength, our power.

There is a big difference between being conceited and being confident and accepting compliments does not tip the scales towards conceit. It does, however, exhibit graciousness.

We don't get to decide whether or not we deserve the compliment. The person giving it to us already declared it. Its ours. They weren't asking our permission or asking us to sign off on it. They chose to compliment us because we were deserving. We should accept that. We deserve it.

Take the compliment, sis. Just say "thank you".
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#thingsillteachmydaughter #mondaymotivation #instainspiration #selfdevelopment #womensempowerment #selfimprovement #girlpower
    • Crazy enough, our weekend trip to Memphis was the first "real"  trip Zian and I have taken together since Christmas when we went to Colombia šŸ˜ÆšŸ˜Æ
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She and I have made road trips back to my hometown, we went to Chicago to drop her at summer camp, and we went to Detroit to say goodbye to our Jadyn, but this is the first trip of the year where we got to kick it together.

Yesterday, I moderated a panel for @audacityfest discussing traveling with children alongside @tanaibenardturner, @themomtrotter, @thetravelingchild, and @@gabbok17. One of the things we talked about was how much quality bonding time we get when we travel with our kids.

I love stepping outside of our regular routine of being mom and daughter and just being people exploring a town, getting to know who my daughter is as a person, and letting her learn who I am as Libryia, not as "mom".
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Although our time in Memphis was brief, I truly enjoyed sharing history with my kiddo at the National Civil Rights Museum, chatting and strolling down Main St., grooving to music at the #BringYourSoul block party,  two-stepping to the jams played by @bigsueshouse at brunch, and mural hunting for dope shots for da gram (thanks @ilovememphisblog for the murals list!)
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It's true, she and I can bond at home. But there is something so special about discovering a new place and ourselves.

Memphis, thank you for having us! We can't wait to come back and explore more of what you have to offer!
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#ilovememphisblog #ilovememphis #memphistravel #travelblogger #influencer #travelinfluencer #AudacityFest #visitmemphis #wanderingmom #wanderingmoms #wanderwoman #blackkidstravel #blackgirlstraveltoo

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